We’re not fucking sure this is needed but someone has to draw the line somewhere:
Should you waste your valuable time surfing around reading about the endless sea of gifts you can buy with the click of your finger (you’re not still using a MOUSE are you because if you fucking are fuckingbuy this one.
Anyway, the answer is No. You should not waste your time trying to decide on the perfect gift for the fucking people in your life. And so we’re here on the scene to save you some fucking time. We’re going to tell you what the fuck to buy for any fucking person in your life for any fucking occasion. Ok? Are we fucking perfect? Fuck no. But look at this way, you can always blame us if the recipient of your gift doesn’t like it. Just tell them:
“hey, this is what they fucking told me to buy for you.”
There’s really no better insurance policy than that on the entire Internet and you know what, it’s yours fucking free with every purchase. If the person you give your gift to doesn’t like it, you just tell them to email us right here:
Seriously. We’ll take care of them. Leave it to us.
Pretty soon, you and your loved ones will start to love the emotional freedom we deliver. This, actually, is our real product offering, our secret sauce. It tastes great, and believe us, it’s less filling too.